Sunday, February 12, 2006

It has been over a week since I last updated my blog. I would like to update it more often, with thoughtful, moving, and refreshingly wise insights on body image and self-appreciation. Maybe that's asking too much of myself?

I was thinking how much easier it is to cope with issues, of any kind, when you have good friends around. Loneliness, or feeling alone, is like a magnifying glass that multiples any negative issue a thousand times. Just being with people shrinks my issues, takes away their foundation, gives them no creedence. The danger with this, however, is feeling as if I must be with people so that I can cope with my worries. It's tantamount that I know I can do this on my own, that the love and support I get from my friends is not something that disappears or can be lost, but something that remains with me wherever I am and in any situation.

That's another reason why I love theatre. The community. The need to connect with people and other living things is natural and it's cruel to deny ourselves the beauty of knowing others. Why know others? Because, let's face it, people are infinitely interesting.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Evolution. Whether you believe that a God in Heaven created you fully formed in His own likeness, to rule wisely over the entire world, or whether you believe that the human body is the product of millions of years of refinement and subtle metamorphosis according to the needs and demands of the modulating ecosystems, you must believe that this body is an amazing thing. An honorable thing. A thing to be grateful for.

Ode to My Toe

you are hairy and fat
but i don't try to shave you
or exercise you
or starve you
i may stub you

but that is on accident.

you are covered by a shell
that grows to fast
and unevenly
with some blackness
i may cut it

but that's so i don't cut myself.

oh toe i wish i took care of myself
as much as i took care of you

oh toe i wish i painted myself in the brightest colors, too
so we could be twins in the hottest red

oh toe i wish i could pinch myself and giggle
and think of the little piggly-wiggly toes

and not whether i'm a pig.

So I'm in the process of trying to figure out a process for my post-grad acting life. My ideal would be to attend the Summer Shakespeare Intensive Training at Shakespeare & Co. and come home to a nice admin job, preferably at a place where I can make enough money to soon go out to Chicago (and see and do lots and lots and lots of sexy sexy improv).

I'm in the middle of preparing for a mini-show on February 23rd that will be like The Vagina Monologues for eating disorders and body image issues. And no, it won't be like Ensler's The Good Body, because I could care less about the narrow-minded worries of some old woman whose breasts are sagging. For now, I'd like to focus on the men and women who are cutting years off of their lives and killing so many of the sweetest parts of themselves.

Come to think of it, old women do a lot of cutting too.